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YHS Star Wars Celebration Diaries: Volume 1

I used to keep an on-going log during vacations and mission trips when I was a kid, usually inside the folds of one of those black and white Mead notebooks. During one particular Summer trip to folk art camp, I remember begrudgingly stashing my memories inside this dumb looking floral print paperback thing some friend of the family had given me. The words “Dear Diary” we’re embossed on the cover in big, curling, gold, cursive letters and the whole thing smelled like old lady perfume. Here’s the thing, I always hated the word “Diary” because A.) It sounded super girly to me and B.) I immediately thought of diarrhea every time I said it inside my head. Still do to some degree.  

So, we’ve all agreed we’re going with “Journal” moving forward? Cool.

Back to those journals, my out-of-town Captain’s Logs (wrong franchise, I KNOW). My parents drilled the thought into my head when I was seven or eight that recording special events, and even the mundane ones, was an important part of life and the human experience. Even though I had no idea what THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE was at seven or eight, I could get behind wanting to reflect properly. “It will help you remember things when you’re older.” That’s what my mom told me in our basement craft room the day she handed me my first Mead notebook. I was into it. I’ve tried to keep the practice up over the years but I recognize that shit can get hectic, so I’m starting this thing NOW: April 5th, 2017. Ten days before Celebration.


It’s just one word, like Britney or Madonna or Jabba, to the people within the Star Wars community. A community, which, I should go ahead and get this out of the way and divulge right now, I’ve always sort of been on the outskirts of. Since this is my new Diary, I want to be honest. The SW Universe? Girl, it can be intimidating. Like using The Force. The sheer quantity of merchandise and memorabilia is knee-buckling. Star Wars fandom is stacked, my friends. Books (which are cannon?), movies (some are hard to watch!), comic books (if they aren’t about Leia, I don’t care!), and toys (rare, banned, expensive, libraries of catalogues and statistics, I’m getting hives). Jesus god do they ever have toys.

So with all that, a veritable floating planet of content. A time-killer, if you will. I could get stressed out. This is literally the same reason why I’ve avoided watching The Simpson’s these last twenty-five years, there’s just too much of it. Further, for a long time, I steered clear of Stephen King with the exact same reasoning. What am I? Afraid of a long term entertainment commitment? What the fuck?? Also I know, for a fact, that Stephen King is a character in the Simpson’s Universe so like seriously what is wrong with me? Because, here’s the thing, it feels amazing to get into the folds of something that is vast. Something huge that other people (maybe even ones like me) cherish. Gosh golly does it ever feel good.

With all of this in mind, I’m deliberately sticking, more than a toe, girl, I’m like waist-deep in Star Wars juice right now. It’s hot and juicy. It’s like a hot, adult, whirlpool and I don’t want to get out. In fact, I’m going to be getting into an ACTUAL jacuzzi with thousands of other fans of George Lucas’s loved-on Universe in less than two weeks. We’re going to be hanging out and it’s all happening in Florida. I hope The Wyndham in Orlando has a big jacuzzi.

ORLANDO-O-O-O-O! I love you, Orlando.

Before I leave you to clean my house, sort through clothes, clean the bathroom/avoid all the aforementioned things and watch The Empire Strikes Back while eating yogurt on my toy room floor, let me jot down a quick to do list.

Pre Celebration To Do: I Am One with the List, the List is with Me

  1. Acquire: Rogue One Steelbook. (This one’s actually done. Picked it up yesterday from Best Buy, yeah guys, I know, Target had way better special features blah blah blah. I’m a creature of habit. Anyway, yes! One down! Go me. Do you like how I put tasks I’ve already accomplished on my To Do list? I’m ALL ABOUT THAT CHECK MARK.)
  2. Watch: Star Wars Holiday Special. I hear it’s awful. I know it’s on YouTube, at least I think it is. I’m ready to take the weird plunge!
  3. Watch: Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. ABC miniseries? Oh I know this! Sounds terrible. I’m INTO IT.
  4. Put my hair in Rey buns. I just need to know if I can do it!
  5. Watch: Attack of the Clones. It’s obviously the best one. No, but seriously, it’s the one I’ve seen the least and I’m ready to tackle it. As ready as I can be.
  6. Stop by the Cobb Antique Mall to pay my respects to the extremely articulated, scale Waddo that I’m hoping will never sell from the stall where it’s sat for the last decade. Also, if anyone has $800 or even $400 and wants to go in with me, shoot me a DM if interested. Thanks!

Stay tuned for next week’s update, which I’m tentatively calling “Stah Woes: A Herstory.” I basically need to break down the origin of my relationship with this enormous franchise, why it’s easy to feel like an outsider, and in contrast, how great it feels to be inside the fold. There’s room for one more one the couch guys, it’s time to heal.

Ten days. Now, back to the toy room floor!



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